While all my Syracuse friends are returning to campus, I’m one of many playing the waiting game to study abroad in Florence, Italy. And while part of me is pulsing with excitement for the great day of departure, another part of me is in a mild-to-severe panic mode about going abroad.

Don’t get me wrong, visiting Italy is a dream come true. But it’s like I’m cliff diving and obsessing about the strength of the cord that’s pulling me back. It’s an incredible opportunity — but the closer you get to that day when you finally take flight, the more you freak out.

For example, I worry about getting there and returning here safely. In the past few months, I’ve only traveled as far as New York City, but each time my “cord” home got closer to snapping. So naturally I have some travel anxiety.

One trip was after an internship interview, and I took an Amtrak train home. I caught the train, but managed to miss my stop. I wound up getting let off at a station 40 minutes from home, right as Amtrak and the nearby stores were closing, and as my phone died. And I didn’t get the internship.

Another trip — I’m not lying — could’ve killed me. It was on Friday, May 17. I boarded a Metro-North train around 6:30 p.m., but there was one little problem. There was a different train on the very same track, heading in the same direction as mine, which had just derailed and crashed, injuring dozens.

If I’d left NYC an hour earlier, I would’ve been in that crash. Instead, I was thankful enough to accept a five-hour delay.

I can only imagine how my “cord” home will fare going as far as Italy. I’ve joked about somehow winding up in Russia. That’s mixed with my other fears about meeting my host family, managing my cash and everything else my imagination is generous enough to pile on.

Yet, these kinds of worries are exactly like me.

With a background in journalism and hopes of finding a job in website management, my feelings about Florence actually mirror the ones about my career. Despite my own passions, I’m constantly worrying about my future due to the whirlwind of changes, struggles and massive layoffs everywhere in the industry. I’ve been working hard, but a lot of that motivation has been fueled by fear. But I don’t want that to drive my life.

If anything can change that fear, it’s Florence. It’s a big reason why I decided to go abroad: I don’t want to worry about that “cord” connecting me back to safety anymore — I just want to enjoy the ride. That’s probably the best thing about studying abroad. Your worries will get overwhelmed and you’ll remember how to enjoy life. I’m especially hoping that’s what it brings me, and everyone else going.

I really do want to experience everything Italy has to offer: the incredible artwork from the Italian Renaissance, gondola boat rides and more. I’m even tempted to treat myself to some Italian leather shoes, if I’m in a good mood, which I will be.

Max Antonucci is a junior newspaper and online journalism major whose column appears every Tuesday in Pulp. Visit his website at www.MaxwellAntonucci.com, find him on Twitter at @DigitalMaxToday, or email him at meantonu@syr.edu.

Published on August 27, 2013 at 1:47 am