As we careen toward midterms and stress levels begin to rise, it’s important to remember that for a few days every semester, it’s perfectly acceptable to stay home and do absolutely nothing.

Lazy days, hookie, completely blowing off all your work and responsibilities —whatever your preferred nomenclature, there’s undoubtedly a right and wrong way to be a delinquent. Fortunately for you, my GPA’s loss is your gain, and I’m pretty sure I have this down to what they’d call a “science.” Unconfirmed, though, because I never went to class.

A successful day of playing hookie actually starts the night before. Drinking in excess can certainly increase the likelihood and intensity of lounging the next day, but also something as simple as making sure you wear your comfiest pair of sweatpants to bed can make a world of difference. Nothing keeps your legs glued to the sheets like a nice cotton or polyester blend.

Other important things to consider are whether the TV remote is within arm’s reach and if your phone is plugged in, preparing itself to refresh the same six Instagram posts hour-after-hour the next day. If you aren’t kidding yourself into thinking that setting an alarm for 8:50 a.m. means you’ll make it to lecture in the morning, switching your phone into airplane mode will ensure that you don’t receive any messages and lays the foundation for the ever-airtight “lost phone” alibi. In the same vein, the farther you can stay off the grid, the better. Remember, Ferris Bueller wouldn’t have had his name written on a water tower if he’d taken an elaborate Snap-story. Sloth takes cunning in the Digital Age.

Now that you’ve laid the proper groundwork, it’s time to reap the benefits. On a proper day off you really shouldn’t leave your bed for at least an hour after waking. That means picking out a movie or TV show, and be sure to take your time with it. Remember, laziness is a marathon, not a sprint. Actually it’s probably neither. Either way, do some research. Get a couple Rotten Tomatoes tabs up and don’t be afraid to run through a few “best of” lists.

In the meantime, I highly recommend “Fireplace For Your Home,” which is exactly what it sounds like. If you choose to watch season 1, episode 2, you don’t have to listen to the awful Christmas music that usually accompanies it. The crackling of firewood in the background is sure to turn the most cramped, haphazardly decorated dorm room into a bona fide mountain lodge. Be sure to check out the “Birchwood Edition” as well — it’s truly a treat.

After you get a nice movie in, a lazy day can really take any number of turns. After an hour or two of convincing myself my day off is justified, I usually like to get a nice tall cup of coffee. If I’ve been watching “Portlandia,” I’ll usually make the trek to Recess Coffee, half-expecting to catch a glimpse of Carrie Brownstein. Depending on the weather, a leisurely stroll through Thornden Park can really put the wind back in your sails. Just be sure that if you’re stepping out of the house, it’s important to flaunt your cowlick and sweats. You’re having a “me” day, and everyone should know it as soon as they lay eyes on you.

Other than that, it’s your day, so have fun with it. Some nouns to keep in mind for a good day off include: candle, socks, tea, Internet, heated back pad, neck pillow and Chapstick.

Happy snoozing.

Evan  Hohenwarter  is a senior advertising major who is almost as modest as he is handsome. His column appears weekly in Pulp. He can be reached at emhohenw@syr.edu or on Twitter at @evanhohmbre.

Published on February 29, 2016 at 10:10 pm