Seasons Greetings readers, friends and peers. No, I’m not feeding into the “War on Christmas,” (which exists) because unfortunately the reason for the season is finals. Yes, it’s finals season, and the depression and stress are thick in the rapidly-approaching-winter air. During this time of year as we navigate thick stacks of rubrics, essay prompts and review sheets, it can be tough to find the light at the end of the tunnel.

Fortunately, I’m here to remind you that there’s plenty to look forward to in the coming weeks and that finals aren’t actually life and death. I once slept through a final and got a D in the class. Was it the end of world? No. Will my future employers think that I lack the necessary skillset to properly interpret a film? Probably. So be it.

But there are plenty of great things beyond the horizon, so before you give up on finals and start perusing Craigslist to see how much money a professional dog walker makes, strap in and have a gander at all there is to look forward to in this crazy thing we call life.

 

Secret Santa

If you haven’t put together a Secret Santa exchange with your friends, then it’s clear you want to be miserable and can’t be helped. If done right, Secret Santa is basically just a roast of your friends a la Comedy Central but with gifts. Presents, drinking, friendship, sweaters and laughter — what’s not to like? Secret Santa is like drinking margaritas on Cinco de Mayo (awesome). So come one, come all and keep it under $15.

New Star Wars Movie

Dust off your Jar Jar Binks action figures; Star Wars is back, baby. If you’re not excited for this then I don’t get what your deal is. When that trailer dropped during Monday Night Football I got chills. Yeah, maybe I’m genetically predisposed to enjoy ’70s-era science fiction films (my dad used to give me the “live long and prosper” hand gesture every morning through the window of the school bus) but this is going to be tremendous. It comes out Dec. 18, which is the last day of finals for those of us who got a bad draw. “A galaxy far, far away” will be here before you can even argue that Jar Jar Binks’ role in “The Phantom Menace” was contrived.

Syracuse Basketball

We’re ranked! If you’re depressed that you can’t make it to games because you’re busy studying, that’s the type of negativity that we don’t need right now. For those of you too young to remember when we made it to the Final Four, I can promise you that it is very, very fun when we’re good at basketball. The Dome makes me claustrophobic, and I haven’t been to a game since Long Beach State during sophomore year, but even I’m pumped. This article is really starting to make me sound like a loser. Go Cuse!

Winter Break

Ever hear the phrase “you can sleep when you’re dead?” Winter break is close enough. It’s a month with literally nothing to do but shower your dog in affection and hope they don’t forget you exist while you’re gone. There will be snow outside and the blankets in your house are soft and have a high stitch count. Any sleep lost during finals week is really just loaned out and you’ll get it back with a high interest rate.

“Man, finals, am I right?”

That’s all you have to say to greet people during finals week. Human interaction becomes streamlined. Just one less thing you have to worry about.

If you really feel swamped and like you’re never going to make it, just think of all the great, successful people in history that never made it through college. Steve Jobs, Andrew Carnegie, Sacagawea, P. Diddy, the list goes on. I’m sure if you throw in the towel you’ll end up on your feet, making the big bucks just like they did. Keep in mind that this isn’t an advice column and happy studying.

Evan Hohenwarter is a senior advertising major who is almost as modest as he is handsome. He can be reached at emhohenw@syr.edu or on Twitter at @evanhohmbre.

Published on December 1, 2015 at 8:16 pm