Ladies and Gentlemen, we’ve finally begun October, so you know what that means: it’s Christmas.

Now that the leaves are changing and we still have a month before we elect the President of the United States, it’s time to start thinking about taking a tree and just shoving it in the house because we damn well want to.

There are only around 70 or 83 days left until the big day. It depends on when you’re reading this. But considering there are at least, like, 300 days in the year, I think being in the double digits warrants celebration.

So get out the lights. Let’s hang up the tinsel. Take the plush singing snowman out of the closet — but only if he wants to be, we have to respect that for him — it’s Christmas time, baby.

Let’s sing some carols. Let’s have some Carols sing some carols. If your name is Carol, I have a business opportunity for you. My contact information is below.

This is definitely the best way to be spending my time. I can feel it — I’m in the Christmas Spirit, and I’m raring to go. Time to start shopping. I’m looking at you, CVS. Walgreens? Stock Up. Christmas Tree Shops — my ol’ reliable, you’ve always been there for me. Good to be back. Let’s swipe some plastic.

And hey, where are my radio station homies at? Let’s get the Elvis going. I want to hear Bing Crosby belt his heart out. I’m for sure listening to The Monster Mash a time or two once we’re really to close to Halloween, but Nat King Cole and I are going to be spending a lot of quality time together for the next twelve weeks. Don’t even get me started on Michael Bublé.

What’s important to understand is my energies are best focused on days when I’m going to get stuff. You can watch C-SPAN for the first time, I’m going to watch “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” for the fifth. And I mean the original one. No disrespect to Jim Carrey. I’m just all about the classics. I have it on Blu-ray, right next to my copy of “Inside Out” — I’m a crier.

We’re keeping up with all the traditions in my apartment — I do not know or understand why we have a fireplace in Los Angeles, but I do know that I can roast a fine chestnut. Think you can build a better gingerbread house than me? Think again. I will make the cutest gingerbread house the world has ever seen if it’s the last thing I do.

Because this makes sense. It is totally appropriate to get ready for this holiday now. Don’t get me wrong, I’m also going to celebrate the two other major holidays that haven’t happened yet. I bet you didn’t know I’m from the Plymouth, Massachusetts area. Let me enlighten you about the true history of Thanksgiving, when Miles Standish invented football. And of course I’m dressing up for Halloween. As long as I pretend to be Fetty Wap, I can bail on whatever parties I want at the last minute. People will be disappointed, but I’m cool enough for it to be okay.

So join me in ringing in those silver bells. Let’s get in the Christmas Spirit. In other news, Hanukah.

Ian McCourt is a senior television, radio and film major. His column appears weekly in pulYou can follow him on twitter @OrderInMcCourt or reach him at iwmccour@syr.edu.

Published on October 3, 2016 at 10:54 pm