Asst. News Copy Editor | Spring 2015; Copy Chief | Fall 2015; Asst. Feature Copy Editor | Spring 2016

In memorium

Just after midnight, I wake to hear my mom on the phone. A “F*CK” and a stomp shatters the night peace, and I know. She runs and collapses into me, both of us weeping uncontrollably.

Earlier that night, seven of us sat in a hospital waiting room. Two mothers, a son, a wife, a brother, a sister, a nephew. One by one, we finally got to visit. At the time, I didn’t realize the severity of the situation. But tears poured out while hugs tried to console. Little did we know, death sat with us in that waiting room. Thankfully, it waited for each of us to say what would be our last goodbyes.

My uncle fought a battle for longer than I’ve been alive — more than 20 years — with multiple sclerosis. It paralyzed him from the neck down. It emaciated his body. It required him to have around-the-clock care. No one should ever have to live like that. It didn’t seem fair.

Then, the MS killed him.

It was not fair.

After sleepless nights, family reconvened. Tears slid down faces, voices choked up, noses blew. In between forced conversation, mourning split the air. Mourning. Silence.

We lost one of our own. We lost a father, a son, a brother, an uncle.

But he was free. No more paralysis. No more wheelchair. No more MS.

Francis Dlugolenski was 53.

…

I didn’t know who I wanted to thank or what I wanted to say to them. But death, as excruciating as it is, has a peculiar way of simplifying things, putting things in perspective.

I have been given so many wonderful opportunities and so many wonderful people to call friends and even found true love and discovered myself. For all of these things, I am thankful.

But my family has been, is and always will be my home, where my heart is. I’ve learned what I believe the true meaning of life is from them. I’ve learned the importance of a loving, supportive, unconditional family because of them. I’ve learned to be humble and grateful thanks to them. I am remarkably blessed to call them family.

To my beautiful and amazing mom, you are my hero. For almost 20 years, it has just been you and me. We’ve gone through ups and downs and here we still are, together. There aren’t words to express how thankful I am for everything you do for me. Someday, I hope I will be able to repay a fraction of what you give me. I love you mom.

To Gram, thank you for everything you do for my mom and me. Thank you for being the best grandma in the world. I love you.

To aunts and uncles and cousins, thank you for supporting and loving me. Thank you for showing me what it’s like and how vital family is. I love you all.

To everyone else, thank you for being in my life. Know that you’re all important to me and I value the relationships we share.

To the love of my life, I cannot put into words how much you mean to me. The moment we met, my life changed forever. I didn’t realize that then, but I believe it now. You are an extraordinary, compassionate, intelligent and talented human being, and I am even more blessed to be able to call you family.

Published on May 3, 2016 at 4:25 am

Contact Danny: dmantoot@syr.edu