Valentine’s Day came and went this weekend, and the naïve Syracuse lovebirds that didn’t prepare a grand romantic gesture are learning the hard way that this weekend’s sub-zero temperatures can’t compare to the icy glare of a significant other underwhelmed by their Valentine’s gift. Fortunately, I’ve compiled a list of make-up gifts that are sure to get you out of the doghouse and back on speaking terms.

 

Option 1: Kanye West’s “The Life of Pablo” — After months of buildup, name changes, unsavory Twitter activity, delayed releases and over-the-top fashion show debut concerts, Kanye’s seventh studio album has finally arrived. The fourth iteration of the album’s title, “The Life of Pablo,” may give some insight into his erratic behavior as the “Pablo” mentioned is at least partially referencing Pablo Picasso, a notoriously difficult person: according to The New York Times, “Of the seven main women in his life, two went mad and two killed themselves.” As he said in “Feedback,” “Name one genius that ain’t crazy.”

In Kanye’s mind, the crazier he seems the more likely people are to accept him as a genius, so it’s best to take everything he says and does with a grain of salt. Silliness and hoopla aside, the album’s opening track, “Ultralight Beams,” sends a message in its expansive, layered, gospel choir-driven glory that this album is something both entirely new and totally familiar. Also, Chance the Rapper absolutely murders his part in it so we can definitely forgive him for reportedly having a role in the album’s delayed release.

Kanye’s production is nimble and layered and many of the tracks could easily be pulled apart to make two or three or fifteen. In “The Life of Pablo,” Kanye draws upon elements from his entire discography and weaves them into a cohesive 18-track body. His auto tuned crooning on “Wolves” sounds like he easily could have tucked it into “Yeezus” as he could “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy” or “808s and Heartbreak.” That’s what makes this album so fun. Most Kanye West albums have a very specific texture, whether the it samples his “The College Dropout” roots or the vast symphonic mastery of “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy,” to his more challenging auto tune-heavy “808s and Heartbreak” or jarring distortion in “Yeezus.”

With a few exceptions, everything feels like it fits neatly into its assigned box. “The Life of Pablo” opens those boxes up, dumps them out on the living room floor and then smears the contents around like a 6 year old trying to shuffle a deck of cards.

Lyrically, Kanye dwells on the struggle of fame, fatherhood and choosing between being the good, family-oriented man he aspires to be and the wealthy, famous rapper with access to vice that he is (beautifully represented by the Peter De Potter album artwork). But when he’s not being introspective and focuses his efforts on classic rapper-ly braggadocio, he brings out a few playful one-liners every bit as good as, “Mayonnaise-colored Benz I push Miracle Whips.” With the list of artists featured including Rhianna, Frank Ocean, The Weeknd, Andre 3000, Chris Brown, Chance the Rapper, Young Thug and Kendrick Lamar, “The Life of Pablo” gets better with every listen.

Kanye may be an egomaniac and this might have been the strangest album release I’ve ever been witness to, but I think he also just delivered us a classic. So get it for your girlfriend to make up for the bad Valentine’s Day gift you gave her, and I’m sure she’ll really like it.

 

Option 2: I don’t know, maybe flowers or something.

 

Evan  Hohenwarter  is a senior advertising major who is almost as modest as he is handsome. His column appears weekly in Pulp. He can be reached at emhohenw@syr.edu or on Twitter at @evanhohmbre.

Published on February 15, 2016 at 8:32 pm